i think i made my mother cry, inquiring about her reasons for not wanting me to publish a fact about myself which i have never seen reason to keep secret.
this, in turn, made me cry, because i don't want to cause her pain, and because i should probably have known it would hurt her; yet it did not occur to me. i'm okay with being distant, but i do have a certain fear of being inhuman.
all in all it was a shitty day, i act shitty towards friends, i sleep too much and when i dream they're shitty dreams.
it is ridiculous and i'm going out to see if early morning sunlight may fill me up with vitamin d and serotonin and stop me harping on about how fucking shitty everything is.