The problem, the main problem, I suppose, is that I only hear and see an abstraction, a heavy theory instead of merely the fleeting practical example;
To me, it's hard to deal with the one situation in particular, the one hurt and angry individual, the one instance, because the world doesn't look like this to me:
"Man is upset and afraid of trying new things and is unsure how to ask to be allowed to stick to old routines"
It looks like this, a rule rather than an exception:
"Individual responds negatively to change and prefers sabotage and lies instead of attempting communication"
This is my pattern. Just as I can't hear it when someone says they miss me; what I hear is "in this situation, and in my present emotional state or attempting to respond to yours, I miss you."