My eyes flicker; settling on anything but him, because if I look, I'm going to laugh.

I stay silent instead.

"Why is it so hard for you to ask?"

"I don't know", I whisper, my voice breaking. I know the first mistake is to stop and make me think, because I get lost that way. I gain distance at the speed of light; I'm the spectator again, I can't relate to this scene, and I'm laughing.

He keeps talking.
I close my eyes.